Zwar alt, aber immer wieder für'n Lacher gut:
MCDONNELL DOUGLAS WARRANTY CARD
--------------------------------
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best
meet your needs and desires.
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified
First Name Initial
Last Name
Password
Code Name
Latitude Longitude Altitude
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-117A Stealth _Classified
3. Date of purchase: Month: Day: Year:
4. Serial Number:
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
_Received as gift/aid package
_Catalog showroom
_Sleazy arms broker
_Mail order
_Discount store
_Government surplus
_Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
have just purchased:
_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store display
_Espionage
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by manufacturer
_Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
_Style/appearance
_Kickback/bribe
_Recommended by salesperson
_Speed/maneuverability
_Comfort/convenience
_McDonnell Douglas reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Price/value
_Backroom politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
_North America
_Central/South America
_Aircraft carrier
_Europe
_Middle East
_Africa
_Asia/Far East
_Misc. Third World countries
_Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in
the near future:
Product Own Intend to purchase
Color TV
VCR
ICBM
Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that
apply:
_Communist/Socialist
_Terrorist
_Crazed
_Neutral
_Democratic
_Dictatorship
_Corrupt
_Primitive/Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
_Cash
_Suitcases of cocaine
_Oil revenues
_Deficit spending
_Personal check
_Credit card
_Ransom money
_Traveler's check
12. Occupation You Your Spouse
Homemaker
Sales/marketing
Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Middle management
Eccentric billionaire
Defense Minister/general
Retired
Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on
a regular basis:
Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
Golf
Boating/sailing
Sabotage
Running/jogging
Propaganda/disinformation
Destabilization/overthrow
Default on loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black market/smuggling
Collectibles/collections
Watching sports on TV
Wines
Interrogation/torture
Household pets
Crushing rebellions
Espionage/reconnaissance
Fashion clothing
Border disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better
in the future--as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers
from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious
consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis
